I’ve been hearing a lot about ‘almost love’. The ‘almost perfect’, ‘almost in a relationship’, ‘almost what I want’, ‘the tip of the tongue’ kind of love.
People say, “if he/she had this quality they would be the one”. Wow, that seems like a lot of pressure, doesn’t it?
When did checking off boxes becomes the key to lasting love?
I can’t help but think that that creates a relationship that is doomed to be encapsulated by fear and insecurities.
The idea of living up to this perfect expectation of a partner seems daunting. No wonder I have brilliant, talented, did I mention beautiful friends, who are single.
Who can take the stress of work, school, family and on top of that; a love that is being questioned? And why are are expected to be a best friend, a soul mate, a lover, a mother, an entertainer, a chef, a provider, and a maid?
Who the fuck can be all that? I certainly can’t and I don’t want to be.
Why are we so afraid to settle? Well, because settling is failure. Settling is throwing in the towel on our aspirations, our goals, the ideal picturesque all American family. No wonder we are a society driven to excess.
The pressure of life is squeezing us so tightly, no wonder alcohol and drugs are the cultural norm. We have steam to blow off and if we didn’t release it, we’d probably explode.
Are we really wired to be it all? Is there enough time in the day/week/month to even attempt it?
No. That’s what causes disease. Stress, it’s the number one cause. We need less commitment, less things on our to do list.
Love shouldn’t be a checklist, it should be felt deep within the heart, soul, mind, so deep you can feel it when you breathe.
Love is not a connect the dots type of thing, it just is. No questions. It’s unsaid. Fuck the bullshit ideal that some article is telling you to do.
Let your heart and intuition guide you. If it’s a maybe, it’s a no. If someone is questioning you, walk away because you are someone else’s absolute ‘yes‘.
(Published February 22, 2017 by Thought Catalog)